My names Jake.
i basically let whatevers on my mind out on my tumblr. so i mean you dont have to follow me, it wont really hurt my feelings. but if you like my posts you should anyways. any questions, ill answer them all. anything else, just hmu.
Tell me its going to be okay. Tell me that almost a year and half wasn’t for nothing. Tell me I’m not alone. Tell me u love me. Tell me my life has purpose without u. Tell me ill go to sleep tonight. Tell me this will blow over. Tell me ill be happy again. Tell me this smile doesn’t just cover up my frustration and sadness. Tell me I’m the only one for you. Tell me I have nothing to frett over. Tell me ur not the only one in my life.
I just want someone to tell me. I want to be able to feel sure. I have no one to tell me. I feel alone in all this. I have no one to talk to. The thought of this makes me scared of my own self and my next action
(via: Flickr / crouchy)
Its my fault for the tears. I know. I’m sorry, I aplogize. But no matter if I say it a thousand times in a thousand different ways, those tears can’t be replenished. But it takes losing something to realize what u had. Ya sure most the time when that phrase is used it usually means money, or a car or something of value that u carelessly overlooked. But in my situation it was the love for another girl. But Not at all carelessly over looked. no. This love was something very deep. Soo complex that words couldnt start to explain it. To the point when I started planning my future, no doubt it involved her. Its like it was a sure thing bc of how deep the love was. Ya, I’ve been in positions where I thought I was in love but those were nothing compared to this. Ive never been so sure about something in my life than her. Her lips, the way they parted when she smiled. Her eyes, they way they looked into mine. Her nose, when it was pushed into mine. Her little freckles ar e the best. Her personality even better. She’s soo funny but yet soo smart. She’s perfect. And I let anger come in between it. Now I ask myself, I wouldn’t let anything or anyone come inbetween us, so why did I let a negative emotion, the dumbest of all emotions come between us. I tell u what, it won’t happen again, just like another person, I’m avoiding the emotion. I’m changing the way I approach situations, how I talk to people, how I act. And not just bc it messed up the most precious thing in my life, I’m also doing it for me. To become a better man, not a better boy. I love her soo much. And even if I have to write a list and fix everything 1 by 1, I’m gonna fix things, just to hear that 3 letter answer to that 6 word question that will make me the most happiest man again.
im not gonna pour my emotions all over my blog anymore, make myself sound like some demonic emo kid.. thats just not me anymore.. instead im gonna pour out every one of my flaws and everything that makes my life suck..
1. i have red hair
2. im an asshole
3. i get jealous
4. i like to eat
5. i tend to say the wrong thing
6. im not smart enough to get into a college level math class
7. i work my ass off for 7.25 an hr because i lack the skills of a real job
8. someone totalled my truck, that i loved dearly
9. im addicted to dip….. i hate it
10. i weigh 150 pds
11. i have freckles
12. i have a unibrow i constantly have to fix
13. my hair is naturally curly…. i hate it
14. i was arrested
15. i love vanilla icecream and peanut butter topping.. very fattening.
16. i have mild skoliosis or however tf you spell it
17. i lack the motivation to get back the 6 pack i used to have
18. im an ass man
19. i have pale skin
20. i have very few people i can actually call friends
21. havent been to my youth group in a very long time
22. im only financially able to take 2 classes at perimeter
23. i still dont have a truck
24. everytime i find a truck, the next day its sold
25. i tend to cuss alot
26. i argue alot
27. i have heart problems
28. im ugly
29. im a ginger
30. the only thing im half way decent at is playing pool. and yet, i suck
31. i once had the most amazing girlfriend. about an hr ago.. but i broke up with her… i tried but it stressed me out every day worse and worse.. i mean i hope one day we can be together again… but if not then oh well i guess………. just have to see what life has for me around the corner
well i havent been on here in a while.. maybe i need to start back
you should know by now not to leave your tumblr up on my computer.
i’m so tempted to post girly things and gay porn haha. but i won’t, because i love you. seriously though, log out!